The Bittersweet Side of Friendship

Hearing the words, “it looks like we’re moving to New York” were some of the most stinging words I’ve heard in my life. I felt a pain in my gut and my eyes instantly filled with tears (as they are as I’m typing this and just as they do just about every time I think about this). These were the words my best friend shared as she told a few of us the news about a great career opportunity. It truly is a wonderful job and I am sincerely happy for her and feel that she, her family and New York are a good fit. But of course there is the selfish, emotional side that thinks of……me.

We have both endured very personal highs and lows over the past few years, and although one of us was directly impacted, the other emotionally absorbed a little of each experience. With this situation it is twofold, I can’t deny the tremendous and well deserved opportunity this is for her and her family, but I can’t ignore the pain this is causing me.
I know she will be a phone call, text message, email and short plane ride away, but there is something about being able to ‘lay eyes and hands on (not in the Biblical sense)’ someone; that is a luxury I won’t have with ease anymore. I know that giving into my feelings of grief only cheats me of the few days I have before she moves so I will try to focus on being in the moment for any time we have in each others presence before she leaves.

If there is one thing I’ve learned over the past few years it is the priceless value of true friendship and a conversation over drinks with her was the catalyst for me realizing this. It was a very candid conversation about friendships and the lack of support at times when friends were needed more during a particular time than ever and I was one of those people. It was definitely a talk that can only be had by true friends where one says to the other, you weren’t there like I needed and that message is received with the same genuine love in which it was delivered. I can say this conversation made me question the ‘friendships’ in my life and more importantly made me evaluate the friend that I was to people. My self evaluation was embarrassing to say the least. I wasn’t proud of the friend I had been to people I claimed to care about. During a recent conversation over dinner with my friend that is moving and another dear friend, I had a minor emotional meltdown while talking about a friend that I miss terribly. He was someone that was always there when I needed him but it was me that placed a wedge between us in attempt to distance myself from him. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. 

The expression says “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”, well I know what I have in her as a friend, which is why this is so emotionally difficult. My plan of action is simple:
– Enjoy every second we have together before she leaves.
– Take plenty of pictures.
– Let the tears flow as needed (I need to try to remember not to wear mascara the day before she leaves). Tears Dry On Their Own (RIP Amy Winehouse)
– Plan trips to New York (awww how miserable for me)
– Appreciate having friendships so lovingly precious that life experiences like these are this painful.

We are Linked in friendship, motherhood and down right fabulousness!!!

The highs and lows of friendship.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything, I’m honored for my many blessings of friendship. Take a few seconds today to reflect on the wonderful friends in your life.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Liz
    Aug 23, 2011 @ 12:47:42

    What a wondeful Blog!!!! Friendships are precious. . . hold them tight with both hands. . .

    Reply

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